13-year-old purposefully destroys 16-year-old cousin's book collection, mom refuses to take responsibility and reimburse teen: "She's old enough to know right from wrong"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Feb 5, 2025 3:00 PM EST

I was a total bookworm when I was a kid. I won the most points in the AR (Accelerated Reader) Program every single year in elementary school. I wasn't motivated by the prospect of receiving a new bookmark, seeing a movie with my homeroom teacher, or any of the other incentives meant to motivate young readers; I was simply a massive nerd. I owe The Spiderwick Chronicles, Harry Potter, and the Warrior Cats series a lot for my early academic success. 

Because books are so expensive, I was a frequent patron at my local library. Still, I would beg my parents to buy copies of the books I truly adored to have at home. I didn't need to know that each hard cover edition was well over 30 bucks to understand that I needed to take good care of them. In our story today, a preteen, seemingly without an inherent respect for the written arts, destroys her cousin's book collection to get back at her for some sleight. Her mother insists that this 13-year-old somehow "didn't know what she was doing," and refuses to take accountability for her daughter's actions. Read more below!

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  • 01

    AITHA making my sister pay back my daughter?

    "She destroyed my daughter's property and she needs to know that her actions have consequences."
    via DragonImages

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My (42f) daughter Brooke (16) has been reading since she was five. She has always loved books and she would spend her allowance that we gave her on the newest book in the latest series that she was reading. It's pretty safe to say that her book
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  • 03
    Cheezburger Image 10464135168
    via Miguel Cano

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 04
    collection is huge and filled with all kinds of limited edition and special edition books. Recently she used her allowance to get a new special edition version of a book she already had because she has been saving up for it and was very excited to get it when it came out.
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  • 05
    ФЕЙБЕР
    via cottonbro studio from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    Well my sister Lindsey (36) came over on Saturday with her daughter Mariah (13) to spend time with us because it's been a while since we got to hang out and we were just catching up. Mariah started to
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  • 07
    head to Brooke's room but I stopped her and told her that Brooke was out and she would be home in twenty minutes so I suggested that she wait down here with us and tell me about how school was going.
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  • This little girl was scheming during the whole visit! She had this thing planned out the moment she stepped into her aunt's house.

  • 08
    She talked for about ten minutes before she said that she had to go to the bathroom. We have two bathrooms in our house, one upstairs and one downstairs (not including our en suite.).
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  • 09
    Unfortunately the downstairs one is having some issues so I told her that it was ok to use the one upstairs for now until the one downstairs is fixed. She said ok and went upstairs.
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  • 10
    While I was talking to my sister Brooke came home, said hi and quickly went upstairs to change. She wasn't up there for five minutes when I heard a loud scream and quickly ran to check on my daughter.
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  • 11
    When I got to her room my jaw dropped when I saw several of her books (including the new special edition one) destroyed with ripped pages everywhere and Brooke in tears at the destruction.
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  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10464135680
    via Ron Lach from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    Brooke is very non controversial and hates arguing or fighting with people, so I stepped in for her. I told Mariah that she needs to apologize to Brooke, clean up the mess she made and that she would no longer be welcomed in my house. I then turned to my sister and told her that she needed to reimburse Brooke for the books that her daughter destroyed. Lindsey
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  • 14
    argued with me that Mariah was just a kid and she didn't know what she was doing but I told her that Mariah is old enough to know right from wrong and what she did was wrong. Lindsey argued back that if my daughter didn't want her books touched that
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  • 15
    they shouldn't have been out. I lost my cool and told her that they weren't out. They were put away in her room where Mariah wasn't allowed to be without Brooke's permission. Lindsey refused to pay Brooke back and called me greedy b before leaving with Mariah right behind her.
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  • 16
    I told my husband about this and he was absolutely on our side, and he agreed that Lindsey needs to pay Brooke back for the books that she lost and can't replace as they were special/limited edition that she can't get back. This whole thing has really blown up and my side of the family is telling me that
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  • 17
    I'm being too hard on Mariah, that she's just a kid but I don't think I am. She destroyed my daughter's property and she needs to know that her actions have consequences. So I'm asking here. Was I the ah for demanding that my sister pay me back?
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    Cheezburger Image 10464135424
    via Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay

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  • 19
    ETA: I have seen some people ask and I'm going to add a bit of information. Mariah has always had a fascination with Brooke's book collection and last year Brooke let her borrow two books because Mariah said that she wanted to start reading and since Brooke loves reading so much she thought it was a good idea to let Mariah borrow a couple. Well
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  • 20
    two weeks passed and the books came back damaged (nothing like this but definitely not in good condition anymore) so Brooke told her that she was not allowed to borrow her books anymore. Mariah was angry at that and yelled at my daughter and since then Brooke has kept Mariah away from her books. My husband and I think this is what caused Mariah to do what she did to Brooke's books.
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  • If Lindsey were a good parent, she would get Mariah to pay for the books that she destroyed through allowance. This is grounds for grounding, too. 

  • 21
    theworldisonfire8377 Why is everyone acting like Mariah is a toddler? She's 13, she 100% knew exactly what she was doing, and she did it on purpose. Your whole family sounds wacked. NTA.
    via u/theworldisonfire8377
  • 22
    Gnd_flpd teenager is what she is. And she knew exactly what her actions meant. She tore pages out of books, who does that, an ill manner brat, that's who. ΝΤΑ
    via u/Gnd_flpd
  • 23
    Whitestrake Not to mention even if we take that claim at face value your 13 year old can't immediately - tell that destroying other people's property is wrong?
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  • 24
    Well you'd better get the f on with teaching them! You're being absolutely negligent in your parenting if they're this old and still don't know. Start by having her apologise for her actions and then bear the consequence of no longer being welcome. Anything less is setting them up for failure in life.
    via u/Whitestrake
  • 25
    CareyAHHH I was confused by her mother's reaction. Ripping up books is something a 13 month old will not know is wrong, but a 13 year old should definitely know is wrong.
    via u/CareyAHHH
  • 26
    Let's even give her the benefit of the doubt that she has never seen a book before, other than last year, and had only read on some sort of electronic reader. Tearing something that isn't yours is obviously wrong. That is distructive behavior, not inquisitive, or naive behavior.
    via u/CareyAHHH
  • 27
    ThisNerdsYarn And even if Mariah is a 13 month old toddler that genuinely doesn't know better, the parents are STILL obligated to reimburse the money for the damaged property. A child's age doesn't mean that the parents are exempt from their kids actions, malicious or not.
    via u/ThisNerdsYarn
  • 28
    NTA Tdluxon Regardless of their age, if a kid breaks/damages/ steals/whatever something, they are responsible for it. I don't care if the kid is 17 years or 17 weeks... their kid, their responsibility.
    via u/Tdluxon
  • 29
    Also, a 13 year old is plenty old enough to know that you can't just destroy other people's stuff. That excuse ends at about age 7. Also, you'd already told her not to go in your daughter's room, so it's not like she wasn't aware that she was doing something wrong.
    via u/Tdluxon
  • 30
    RockabillyRabbit My kid is currently 7. I wanna say it was about 4 or 5 max that she knew better than to mess with other people's things. Pretty across the board for my friends kids too.
    via u/RockabillyRabbit
  • 31
    What gets me is the 13yo knew exactly what she was doing. She tried to go there first thing and was told no. So she asked for the bathroom to get away and go do what she initially wanted. That was planned. I highly doubt she actually needed to use the bathroom.
    via u/RockabillyRabbit
  • 32
    facinationstreet Mariah is THIRTEEN! Not 2. She did this maliciously because she is jealous. And I bet some of that jealousy is being fed by your sister - who I am 100% sure is also jealous of your daughter and her book collection. Your sister is very likely talking smack about the book collection behind your family's back and has to have repeated it often enough that Mariah took it to heart that part of the collection should be destroyed so Brooke was taken down a notch.
    via u/facinationstreet
  • 33
    You aren't going to get the money from your sister so time to pivot your strategy. They are never allowed in your house again. You don't share personal or family info, updates or details with them ever again (anything you share will feed the flames). You block her on social media. You limit what information you share with the rest of your family (because it will all get back to your sister). This info should not just be about Brooke and her book collection. It should be about everything.
    via u/facinationstreet
  • 34
    Also, time to get the books insured if they are that valuable and to look into storage options (in or outside of the home) in the event of fire or flood. NTA
    via u/facinationstreet

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family drama entitled parents toxic siblings motherhood reddit story relationships parenting raising teens books love sister reddit thread Reddit raising kids entitled people
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